nuclearnyx:

my anaconda don’t want none

unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON

image

bombing:

dantheman2033:

bombing:

if you’re on the sun then sun dried tomatoes are just tomatoes

Wouldn’t they just be dried tomatoes, because they are still not normal tomatoes

i just googled this and turns out there aren’t any tomatoes on the sun so it looks like we’re both wrong but more importantly you’re wrong

  • guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
  • me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
  • world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]

toatorixthetimelord:

You’re bleeding because you don’t floss.

the-goddamazon:

strawberryalien:

kidzbop is gonna be like “my anaconda don’t want none unless u like fun, hun!!”

"oh my gosh. look at her heart!"

SHIT